from my vantage point as under-stairs dweller, i identify my fellow mercurians by the falls of their feet. i don't even have to look to see who's coming to the underworld.
molly is the quietest - she skips down the stairs, was she a ballerina? Even in stilettos.
kendra descends like miss america - slow. graceful. even.
colter takes about 3 bambi-esque bounds to make it down. life at six foot four.
laura wins politest award - she never clomps or flip-flops.
jamie, our fearless leader, strides with the signature stomp of Davy Jones transversing the deck of the Flying Dutchman.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Your horoscope
Be you Piscean, of Aquarian age, misnomered Virgo or Scorpio...it is guaranteed (guarantee rendered null and void if you are among the roughly 150,000 fated to terminate today) that today
your heart will beat around 864,000 to 115,200 times.
(whether or not it does that flutter or sinking thing is somewhat dependent on your expectation and your willingness for it to do either.)
you will pass 1 to 3 pints of flatulence.
(at this office, you can blame up to half a pint on Bella, the office dog and master of the silent-but-deadly.)
you will speak between 7,000 and 28,000 words, regardless of your gender.
(in advertising, we conserve words, and repeat some only for effect. words heretoforth banned from this blog on grounds that they deserve a wee break: cute, awesome, beautiful. In the case of some object genuinely deserving specifically such a non-specific label, ban shall be momentarily suspended. Words that really need a rusty ride: cavalier, malevolent, serendipitous. Kind.)
As for you, Sagivirgaquario:
choose your own words.
but choose wisely.
(Sound never dies. It just reverberates around, getting slower and slower. At this point, police can make recordings at some crime scenes hours after the crime and play them back faster, thus catching snippets of past conversations. In the future, technology may allow futurites to hear any of those 7,000 to 28,000 chosen words. )
your heart will beat around 864,000 to 115,200 times.
(whether or not it does that flutter or sinking thing is somewhat dependent on your expectation and your willingness for it to do either.)
you will pass 1 to 3 pints of flatulence.
(at this office, you can blame up to half a pint on Bella, the office dog and master of the silent-but-deadly.)
you will speak between 7,000 and 28,000 words, regardless of your gender.
(in advertising, we conserve words, and repeat some only for effect. words heretoforth banned from this blog on grounds that they deserve a wee break: cute, awesome, beautiful. In the case of some object genuinely deserving specifically such a non-specific label, ban shall be momentarily suspended. Words that really need a rusty ride: cavalier, malevolent, serendipitous. Kind.)
As for you, Sagivirgaquario:
choose your own words.
but choose wisely.
(Sound never dies. It just reverberates around, getting slower and slower. At this point, police can make recordings at some crime scenes hours after the crime and play them back faster, thus catching snippets of past conversations. In the future, technology may allow futurites to hear any of those 7,000 to 28,000 chosen words. )
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